I don’t pray anymore
I don’t pray anymore. Now, if you think it’s because I’m a rationalist and I don’t believe prayer works, you’d be wrong. I don’t pray because I know prayer works.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with expressions of gratitude. Being filled with gratitude is a good thing. No, when I say I don’t pray anymore, I mean I don’t ask God for anything anymore.
When I was a small child, my mother used to read me Hurlbut’s Bible Stories every evening before bed. My favorite story was the story of Solomon. Solomon was the wisest dude who ever lived. How that happened was God visited him when he was a small child and told him he could have one of three things; wisdom, power or riches. Solomon chose wisdom so he could rule his people well. God was pleased with the answer and said since he had chosen wisdom, God would give him riches and power as bonuses.
Now, to my little 5-year-old mind this seemed like the deal of the century. Buy one, get two free. So that night I prayed with all the fervor of my 5-year-old heart and asked God for wisdom. But my motive was actually to get the power and riches. See, even at that age, that prayer for wisdom was motivated by my own self-interest.
I spent the next 40 years in churches of various descriptions and listened to literally thousands of prayers. Most of the ones prayed in church ended up being long recitations of self-interested petitions or intersessions to try to control people or situations. There were prayers for the health of others that were without self-interest, but these never seemed to be answered, at least not without the help of doctors.
So one day, having spent all this time praying and nothing happening, I was driving my car and I suddenly had the strangest feeling. I had the feeling that if I prayed at that moment, I was 100% guaranteed to get whatever I asked for. I, at that moment, had perfect faith. I literally could ask for anything and it would be granted. I felt like I was Solomon at that moment, presented with a choice.
And at that same moment was the realization that I didn’t have enough knowledge of the possible consequences of my prayer to ask for anything. What if I asked for world peace and ended up enabling a world-wide dictator that brought peace by ending freedom through military conquest? What if I asked for riches and ruined my life or the lives of others?
And so, in that moment of perfect faith, I declined to ask anything. I refused. I said, no thanks, I’m fine. And in the next moment I remembered that I had asked for wisdom as a small child and I knew that this was the answer to the first prayer I ever prayed. This is how I began walking the way of uncertainty and why I don’t ask God for anything. God answered my very first prayer and I don’t need anything else. The beginning of wisdom is knowing I don’t have the wisdom needed to determine my own destiny or control the lives of others. Strange isn’t it? Wisdom is knowing I don’t have wisdom.
Read MoreThe secret of understanding
My mother told me the secret of understanding when I was a very small child. She told me that I should always try to see things from the other person’s point of view, to put myself in their shoes and try to see the issue from their perspective. She told me this when I was about six years old.
My mother is a very wise woman and she was right. It’s also the key to understanding anything. You have to step outside of your own perspective. Your perspective is your bias. In science, if you want to understand something, you need to collect a bunch of data. You must collect that data without bias. Then when you want to understand it you must study and analyze the data without bias.
A judge and jury must examine evidence without bias if there is to be justice in a country. Justice depends upon unbiased reasoning and examination of evidence.
The final key is to see and understand yourself. To examine yourself without bias. That’s hard. That’s the key to enlightenment.
My mom